Artistic Ripoffination

I've been reading something called The Book of General Ignorance, which is a trivia book that, among other things, debunks a lot of "facts" that we all "know" to be true. Along the way, the authors explain how the term "crapper" arose as a euphemism for the toilet. I'll spare you the gory details on this--read the book if you want to find out. But, I will say this: thinking about the term crapper makes me wonder why no one calls the bathroom "the dumper." I mean, you can take a crap in a crapper, but you have to then take a dump in the crapper too? Why can't you do it in the dumper? It just doesn't add up. Another question: am I the only one who gives a shit about the things that truly matter in this world?

I've also been reading the Roald Dahl book The BFG, in which the titular Big Friendly Giant, amongst many other things, talks in a very strange fashion. Having read the book, my thoughts are that a lot of people are ripping off Roald Dahl. For example, The BFG routinely uses the word 'scrumdiddlyumptious' throughout the novel. And yet, isn't Ned Flanders generally associated with that word, despite that fact that The BFG was in print for a full seven years before Flanders showed up on the airwaves? Hmmm. Additionally, The BFG also frequently uses the word 'redunculous', a word that I myself am fond of using and a word that is popular enough to have its own entry in the Urban Dictionary. Did Roald Dahl invent this word? If so, how come he doesn't get credit for enriching our street lingo palate? How come Dre isn't singing, or, um, rapping his praises? It's not just individual words, though, that are being ripped off wholesale from The BFG. I'll say this: not only was Jar Jar Binks a loser, but his whole manner of speaking seems to have been completely lifted from The BFG. I think this BFG quote illustrates this point nicely: "What a spliffling whoppsy room we is in! It is so gigantuous I is needing bicirculars and telescoops to see what is going on at the other end!" Replace "room" with "starship" and add in some lightsaber sounds and you basically have The Phantom Menace, verbatim. To put it another way, George Lucas: thiefalicious.

Here's even more artistic thievery: I watched The Illusionist the other night, which is a film starring Ed Norton as a guy who disappears from his home town for many years and then returns as a magician known as Eisenheim. I find it interesting that one of my favorite novels, Fifth Business by Robertson Davies, features a guy who disappears from his home town for many years and then returns as a magician known as Magnus Eisengrim. Hmmm. I guess what I'm saying is this: everyone is a fraud but me and Roald Dahl and Robertson Davies, but none of us can sue anyone because I can't afford lawyers and both of them are dead. What a world.