Takin' the biscuit back

I was reading a story by James Joyce the other day, and in it (in the story, "in" it, on the insides of the tale) one of the characters used the phrase "takes the biscuit" to refer to something good. It might be confusing out of context. Perhaps a sample sentence will show you how "takes the biscuit" works. Um. Let's see. Ah, I got it: boy, them there huge titties on that pretty lady certainly take the biscuit! See how that works? Awesome. The point is, this phrase is cool but for some reason it's never made it over to America so I'm now making it my business to make the phrase popular. I don't mean that I'm making it my actual business, because I don't have any money and I'm not sure what kind of need there is out there for some who makes phrases popular and I also don't have time to file the proper paperwork. I'm just saying that I want to use the phrase "take the biscuit" more often, and not just when I offer my leftovers to others when I get prematurely full at KFC.

My friend Alex sent along this video to me the other day. I won't set it up, I think you should just experience it:

I mean, wow, right? Is it just me, or does this video take the biscuit? (YES! Did you see what I did there? That's what we call "back-blog back talk previous blog reference back" in the blogging world. Good stuff.) As good as this video is, it's even better when you analyze the sweet rhymes that are being dropped during it. Because I am a good person who believes in taking as many biscuits as possible, I have transcribed the rappin' raps that are rapped during the video.

First, the words of the wanker dude:
I'm king, and they know it
When I snap my fingers everybody says "show it"
I'm hot and you're not,
But if you want to hang with me I'll give it one shot
Top that, top that, you can do all that you can but you'll never top that,
Top that, top that, you can dream until you're blue but you will never top that!
Huh huh!
Exquisite. But the awesomeness doesn't stop there. Here's what the even wankier girl counters with:
Supersonic, idiotic, disconnected, not respected
Who would ever really wanna go and top that?
Such a waste, a pretty face but hanging in your [This is the only part I'm unsure of--Noah's face? Norse embrace? I have no idea what the girl says here, but I guarantee you that if I knew, it would cause me to say something along the lines of "SNAP! NO YOU DI'INT!"]
I wish that you would take a look and really stop that
Top that, well stop that,
I don't really give a ___ about trying to top that
Top that, stop that, I wish you'd finally take a real look and really stop that!
Then, the fierce back-and-forth portion of the rap battle begins--
Zach Morris Wannabe: What's this?
Girl Who Resembles a Poodle: Stop that!
Huge Dork: What gives?
Ugly Skank: Top that, I don't really give a ___ about trying to stop that
Massive Tool: Top that!
Hideous Lady: Big deal!
Former Fetus That Should Have Been Aborted: Stop that!
Pile of Vomit with the Pink Hat: Unreal!
35 Year-Old Jagoff Trying to Portray a Teenager: You can try until you're blue...
The Best Pro-Plastic Surgery Argument Ever Conceived: But I will make a fool of you!
Fuckheads in Unison: Top that!

Okay, first and foremost, props must be given to the girl for mixing up "top that" and "stop that." It's a subtle twist that plunges the knife of retribution ever deeper into that guy's taint of humiliation. Secondly, if that guy is so cool, why is he challenging people to top him just to hang out with him? Wouldn't he only want to have cronies who couldn't top that? It makes me wonder who those two dudes are that are hanging out with him. Are they dudes who used to be "king", only they were topped by this dude? Or are they, perhaps, dancing robots? One wonders. Lastly, perhaps you can help me figure out the main thing that I don't get about what happens in this video: why, at the outset of things, is the girl totally infatuated with the dude, only to then denounce him and trounce him in an awkward rap battle? Is she playing hard to get? Is she using the rap version of reverse psychology? What gives, skank? Regardless of the answer to these questions, ultimately I'm mainly interested in the truth of this video: the world would be a much better place if all of our conflicts were resolved with impromptu suburban rap battles. I guess we should all just hope someone at the White House reads this blog.