Fun with pictures
If I could ask the obvious question: WHA?! How is this ad supposed to convince me to purchase life insurance? Apparently, I'm supposed to log into Yahoo, and while diligently deleting spam from my mailbox, this ad is supposed to catch my eye. Then, the makers of the ad evidently presume that I will look at this thing and think, "You know, I've never really wanted to purchase life insurance before, but knowing that by not doing so, somewhere out in the world there might be a little black kid with big ears who's angry at me completely changes my opinion on the matter. I will now purchase a policy and adopt an African American to be its beneficiary as soon as possible." Is that what's supposed to happen? Because if so, this ad has FAILED. Sorry, AccuQuote: you just lost my business before you ever even had it. Ironic, eh?
I guess things aren't all bad on Yahoo, however. For example, they have this new security feature whereby one can enable a picture to accompany the login box on "official" Yahoo sites only, so as to avoid phishing sites. You can choose any picture you want for this, and this is the one I chose:
Pretty rocking, huh? You know it! Let me go ahead and state it: having Kiss greet me every time I check my email makes me feel more rocking than 17 Ted Nugents. Not only that, but because the boys in Kiss look rather eager in this picture, like they're on the edge of their glam-rock seats, as if they can't wait for me to log in to my email, the actual act of checking my email is now even more exciting than it already was previously (in case you don't know, I get a lot of emails from Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Donald Trump, and Donald Trump's hair, so checking my email is always a thrilling experience). You know, Yahoo: you might bombard me with utterly bizarre ads, and you may be responsible for the jailing of dissidents in China, and you might prevent mail from reaching me for hours at a time, but as long as I can hang out with Kiss when I log in, I'm willing to look the other way.
What's even more exciting than emailing with Ace Frehley? Buying heroin over the counter. Let me explain: I was at a history of drugs exhibit recently, and it featured actual pill bottles of drugs that one could, at one time, buy at a pharmacy. Check this shit out:
I don't know about you, but I find looking at these pictures to be depressing, because doing so makes me realize how much current over-the-counter medicine sucks. Why take Tylenol for a headache when you can take heroin? Why treat the common cold with NyQuil when you can do so with Thorazine? I'm seriously asking. Great, now I'm all bummed out. I'm going to go log into my email and chase my blues away.
