Breasts, Bathrooms, and Buddy Lee

I went to one of them there Renaissance festivals the other day, and against the advice of my lawyer, I posed for this here picture with my friend Bill:

That's me on the right (the pretty lady). I'm looking down like that because I was trying to be sassy and act like I was scoping out my own massive wooden hooters, but instead I just look like I'm hanging my head in shame at being at the Renaissance Festival in the first place. The moral of this story is clear: never do anything unless you get paid $500 for it.

Yesterday, for various reasons that are so important to national security, they cannot be discussed here, I searched for the term "bathroom" in my mailbox's sent items folder. The results of the search revealed that I have 263 emails in my sent items folder that contain the word "bathroom." 263! What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I always typing emails to people about bathrooms? Isn't that creepy? Is this why no one ever replies to my messages? It must be so. I wish I could control my creepiness, but I can't. It's like having herpes on your balls: there's nothing you can do about it.

Hey, remember Buddy Lee? Whatever happened to him? I should note that by "Buddy Lee", I'm referring to that intrepid little dude who advertised Lee jeans, and not to this guy, about whom I don't know what to think, other than "nice tights" (seriously, click on that last link--that dude is something else). My question remains: Buddy Lee, wherefore art thou? Seriously, whatever happened to that guy? He totally rocked. I hope he's not dead. Maybe if I hadn't emailed him so much about restrooms, he and I would still be in communication today. Mistakes: I've made a few.

And now, it's time for the least-relevant media-roundup west of The Azores, now with superfluous commentary!:
Song of the Week: Embrace -- Money (Note: I'm talking about the short-lived, fantastic Embrace from Washington D.C., not the long-lived, sucktastic Embrace from jolly old England. I just wanted to state that for the record.)
Album of the Week: Sleep -- Live in New York City, 1994 (Alright, it's not an actual album, it's a bootleg. Still, it was the best thing I listened to all week. What do you want me to do?)
Movie of the Week: X: The Unheard Music
Quote of the Week: "By observing the natural world, we can deduce that the best way to impress girls is by being aloof, then funny, then deep - in that order." -- The Pirate Captain