The Water Dance and What It Can Do for You
Is there anything more annoying than pressing a shirt, and then driving to work, and by the time you get to work, the mere act of sitting in a car with a seatbelt on has rendered the pressed shirt totally depressed, i.e. more wrinkled than Dolly Parton before a Botox session? Of course there is--there are approximately 192301289302913012730 things more annoying than that. But still, it's annoying, right? I'm not alone here am I, bitterly sitting in a wrinkled shirt without anyone agreeing with me on this wrinkled shirt thing? That's bogus. It's called solidarity, people--look it up.
I'll tell you who's not bitter: this kid that I saw at the gym the other day. Let me back up: the gym in which I work out is part of a community center that hosts a wide array of activities, from basketball games, to yoga classes, to cockfighting (it's where Michael Vick got his start in the world of bloodsports)(not really, though). One of the activities hosted at the community center is a karate class for little kids. The other night, I was doing pull ups, and the pull up contrapulation (that's what I call it--that's what everyone should call it) is located right next to the gym door, which is located right next to the water fountains. Everybody got that? Good. So, as I was doing pull ups, all of these little karate kids in their little karate outfits (Not one of which featured a Cobra Kai logo, which was quite distressing--has that most infamous of karate groups gone out of circulation? If so, who will harass all of the little Ralph Macchios of the world?) ran over to the water fountain to get a drink--all of them except one, a tiny kid with a gigantic head of moppy blonde hair, so moppy in fact that I couldn't tell if the kid was a boy or a girl. That's immaterial to the story I guess. The point is, while the other kids were getting a drink from the water fountain, this kid yelled, "Let's do the Water Dance!" S/he then proceeded to, I guess, do the "water dance", although I'm not sure it was dancing, as it mainly consisted of frantic arm waving and uncontrollable gyrating. Honestly, it looked less like a dance, and more like a blonde monkey having a seizure. But, I'm not a dance expert (even though it says that I am on my business cards), so what do I know? Aside from the names of all of Kiss' official guitarists, not much**. Anyways, after doing this "Water Dance" for a few seconds, the kid yelled, "And...STOP!", and just froze in place. S/he stood there, frozen, for about ten seconds, and then s/he and all of the other little karate maniacs ran back into their dojo-room. There really is no point to this story, other than that little kids are weird. And also, never EVER be afraid to dedicate a dance to a water fountain.
**For the record, those names are: Ace Frehley, Vinnie Vincent, Mark St. John, Bruce Kulick, Ace Frehley again, and Tommy Thayer. That's pretty much all I know after 30 years on this wacky rock we call home. I'm a winner!
