Trannies = Fascists?

I realized this morning that the next time my self-esteem levels are low, all I need to do to pick myself up is to get a haircut. What I mean is that yesterday I went to get a haircut, and the Korean lady who did the deed must have told me 7 or 8 times how handsome I am. It was like hanging out with my grandma (if my grandma was a Korean lady who cuts people's hair in exchange for money) (which she isn't). I make this vow: if I ever become rich, I'm going to hire this old Korean lady to be part of my entourage, just so that I can hear how handsome I am all the time, regardless of whether or not I'm having my hair trimmed. If you can think of a better reason to become rich and famous, I'd love to hear it.

If I know one thing, it's that aside from Korean barbers, trannies also think that I'm very handsome. Actually, I don't know if that's true or not, but I imagine it is true, for complex reasons that I can't go into here due to time constraints. All I'm really trying to say is that I mentioned trannies in a blog entry last week, and when I spell-checked said entry, Checky (that's my anthropomorphic name for my spell-checker) (actually that's my nickname for it, its actual name is Count Check Von Spell) suggested the word 'tyranny' when it came across 'tranny'. What do you think this means? It's possible that Checky just doesn't know the word 'tranny', and simply thought that 'tyranny' was a close match. However, it's also possible that Checky has been specifically programmed to suggest this word because the people at Microsoft are trying to convince the world that all transsexuals are fascists. Why they would want to do this, I have no idea, but I bet it has something to do with a fear of alternative lifestyles, a fear that is best captured by this website.

So, I received a spam this morning with a subject line that read "My boyfriend's pecker keeps slipping out." As you might imagine, this email was about penis enlargement, i.e. the subject line was stating that the dude's wang keeps falling out of the lady because it's so small. If I could be the voice of reason here for a moment, I would like to postulate that maybe it's not the size of the boyfriend's penis that's the problem here. Rather, perhaps the reason his dong can't seem to stay situated in his lady's hee-haw is because said vi-jay is exceptionally large and stretched out and generally useless for anything other than as storage space for someone's spare couch. Let me come right out and say it: whoever sent this email is a skank, and her vagina is bigger than Luray Caverns, and everyone knows it. I'm tired of those with tiny members being held responsible for every problem in the bedroom--it's time the large-vagina community accepted some responsibility as well. I sure hope that the Democrats have another one of them YouTube debates soon, because discussing this has made me realize that not one candidate has addressed this important issue, and I'd like to bring it up. Wouldn't you like to know where Obama stands on large vaginas? I mean, not where he stands on large vaginas, but where he stands on large vaginas. Do you see what I'm saying here? No? Never mind, then.