I HEART the Mid-Week Day Off

Well, I hope everyone had a happy Fourth of July. Mine was kind of lame. Why, you ask? (And if you don't ask, you're a selfish bastard--I didn't want to say it, but it's true (apparently (according to the aforementioned criteria that I just aforementioned.))) Because: a couple of servers at work took a dump (not literally) and so I spent half of the holiday working and not at home doing what I wanted to be doing, which was taking a relaxing dump (literally). The whole affair simply proved something that I've been saying for a long, long time: computers hate America. Why this is, I have no idea, but I think it might have something to do with all of those Go-Bots that Ronald Reagan had deported back in the early 80s. That was a weird time for all of us, but especially for those of us with laser blasters for hands. At any rate, the ultimate ironical kicker of the whole thing was that I spent Fourth of July Eve (also known as "The Third" and/or "the night before thousands of young Americans use cherry bombs for something other than overflowing the toilets where they go to school") discussing and, more importantly, exhorting the awesomeness of the mid-week day off with my friend Bill. For the record, this is what we looked like when we discussed this amazingly interesting and important issue:

Well, that's kind of how we looked. If you think you can take a better self-portrait in a darkened bar with a camera phone after six Guinnesses, BE MY GUEST. Anyways, I am, of course, on the record as being a certified A-1 Super Fan of the three-day weekend, and while I still think that three-day weekends rule, I suddenly find myself thinking that I might prefer the mid-week day off to the day off that you have after you've already had two days off. This has left me feeling conflicted, like how Elizabeth Taylor might feel if she got full and quit halfway through a ham sandwich (I know that's a pretty ludicrous example due to its unlikelihood, but work with me, here). With a mid-week day off, (a) the first two days of the workweek fly by because you know you have a break coming soon, (2) you party the night of that second day because you don't have to get up early, (iii) you have a great time on the day-off because it's rare that you get to sleep in on a Wednesday (look it up), (IV) you then only have to fake your way through Thursday because BAM the next day is already Friday, which means the weekend has already started. So, with a mid-week day off, you work maybe 5 or 6 hours the entire week (check my math on this one, I'm pretty sure I'm right)...unless, of course, your servers betray you, in which case you end up working way more than you would normally. I guess I should stop heaping scorn on computers, because after all, they only do what we program them to do, which I guess means that someone programmed the computers at work to be DICKS to me. Anyways, I feel like with a three-day weekend you don't get nearly as much relaxation time, because everyone feels weird on Sundays because they're conditioned to, and more importantly, by the time you get around to the third day, you're super bored, sitting at home with nowhere to go and nothing to do because all your friends got arrested on Friday and they don't get a hearing until the judge comes back to work on Tuesday. You can't argue with this line of thought--it's scientific. The point is, I feel like I've been missing out by not having holidays on Wednesdays. Fuck the whole Scooter Libby sentence-commutation thing--this is what we should be complaining to our representatives in Congress about. Yeah.