Fun with Words

I saw a truck earlier today with a sign on its side that read, "Rust Construction Company." As far as I can tell, this was a legitimate thing--the truck wasn't ironic or anything. Well, the truck might have been, but the sign wasn't. Honestly, can you think of a name for a construction company less likely to instill confidence in a customer than "rust"? I can't. Okay, well, maybe "Super Shitty Construction Company" would be worse than "Rust Construction Company", but not by much. How did the people of the Rust Construction Company come up with this name? Were they sitting around, brainstorming, ultimately deciding that the best way to capture the essence of their construction skills was to utilize a word that conveyed notions of decay, deterioration, and impairment? Maybe they were trying to say that they're so skilled that they're not concerned about naming themselves with a word that represents the worst side of their business? I don't know. All I'm wondering at this point is what other awesome business names are out there. Vomit Food Supply? Blindness Optometry? Your Babies Will All Drown Swimming Pool Contractors? Saw Your Own Foot Off Chainsaw Rentals? Who knows?

Also today, I noticed this question being asked over at Yahoo News: "Are you addicted to food?" At first I scoffed at such a notion, because it seemed so, you know, stupid. But then, I started thinking about it, and I realized it might be a worthwhile question after all. Wanting to be as clear and accurate in my thinking as I could be, I looked up the definition of 'addiction' on the Interwebpagehighways, and found this definition: "the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma." As I read this, I realized that I just might be addicted to food. I mean, eating is a daily habit that I have. Not only that, but I do it multiple times a day. Furthermore, whenever I try to cease this habit, I suffer severe trauma in the form of malnutrition, extreme weight loss, and death. So, I guess I am addicted to food after all. I can't believe that I found out through the global tube-webs instead of one of my friends telling me that I had a problem. That's the way the addictive cookie crumbles, I suppose. My main concerns at this point are (a) getting help, and more importantly (b) dealing with the many other "addictions" that I've discovered I have in the wake of this food revelation (as far as I can tell, I'm addicted to sleep, drinking water, oral hygiene, breathing, and urinating). If anyone can recommend a good 12-step program, I'd be much obliged.