Panang Insurance

Last night I ate what was, without question, the worst Thai food that I've ever had in my entire life. Normally, I find Thai food to be either deliciously awesome or blandly inoffensive, i.e., usually at it's worst, it's still decent. However, the food I had last night was unquestionably nasty. It was the first panang that I've ever scarfed that made me pause and say "ICKY." (I say that as in the food was icky in taste. I'm not referencing any former running backs for the Cincinnati Bengals, if you know what I'm saying. And if you don't, what the hell where you doing in the late 80s? You sure as shit weren't paying attention to the Ickey Shuffle, aka the best dance move to appear in between the demise of the electric slide and the rise of the Macarena.) I think the food was so gross because instead of being made with chicken like the recipe called for, it was instead made with pieces of rubber and petroleum byproducts. Now that I say that, I'm realizing that maybe the food wasn't that bad--sure, it tasted gross in a comparative sense, but if it was indeed made out of rubber, it was actually quite edible. Now I don't know what to think. Thanks for nothing, blog.

I'd like to ask a practical question at this point: am I the only person that doesn't watch Ugly Betty? It seems like I am. Not wanting to be out of touch with the zeitgeist, I should probably do something about that, but that would require, you know, effort, and as such, I'm not really interested in it. However, not wanting to look like the lazy douchebag that I am, here's my just-made-up rationalization for why I'm not going to watch it: because in some junior high school somewhere, there's some poor homely girl named Betty who is relentlessly teased by her classmates and is called either 'Ugly Betty' or 'Uglier Betty.' You know it's happening somewhere, RIGHT NOW, in the lunchroom probably, although maybe it's happening in gym class. The point is, I can't, in good conscience, support a show that inadvertently promotes such bad behavior. Yeah. Ethics: it's what's for breakfast.

Yesterday I was paying my car insurance bill at Geico.com. Could this amazing true story get any truer? You bet your ass! As I did so, I noticed that Geico's main page had a navbar featuring links for Auto Insurance, Motorcycle & ATV Insurance, Home Condo & Renter's Insurance, Life Insurance, Boat Insurance, and...Umbrella Insurance. Umbrella insurance! Could it be? Could it be that I've finally found someone that takes umbrellas as seriously as I do? It looks that way. This is truly a great day--I can finally protect myself against the loss of my beloved "duck handled" umbrella. Now if only I could get some underwear and/or Kiss memorabilia insurance. That would be something.