Pucked in the Ear

I found out something very interesting this morning: if you have a macaroon for dessert, but you don't finish it, and you leave what's left of it sitting out on a napkin overnight, and then in the morning if you have to blow your nose but, because you can't find a tissue, you use the napkin that the macaroon was sitting on, it is an AWESOME NOSE BLOWING EXPERIENCE, because immediately before and after you blow, you're enveloped by the soothing smell of the macaroon. It totally takes the edge off of the whole nose blow. I call it the Macaroon Nose Blow Trick. I totally fucking invented it. No big deal.

If only I had come up with the Macaroon Nose Blow Trick last week instead of today...because on Friday, I met Wolfgang Puck. Yeah. That's right. Wolfgang fucking Puck. Shook his hand. Ate food that he had prepared. Who made your dinner on Friday, Chef Boyardee? That's cool. I'm just saying that my dinner was made by a world-famous chef. The point is: if I had already had the M.N.B.T. developed when I met Puckmeister One, I probably could have sold it to him for use in his restaurants for like a zillion dollars. Instead I'm publishing it here, for free, like a jerk. What kind of a world is this?

Follow-up to the last paragraph: when I met Wolfgang Puck, I was a mere 4 blocks away from the Verizon Center, in which the Capitals were playing the Flyers in the NHL playoffs. So I met a puck while being nearby another puck. Is it just me, or could this confluence of events be described as some 'serious puck synergy'? It is just me, isn't it? Never mind.

You know that tiny part in your ear just above the big part? Here's something I learned the other day: if that part of your left ear itches, don't try to scratch it with your right thumb. It just doesn't work. Believe me.