Reading the Lines Between the Lines That Are Also Lines

Logging in to my mailbox this morning, I was stunned to have a secret, hidden message revealed to me. Sifting through my normal deluge of spam, I realized that if I read only the subject lines of my messages, I discovered something other than fantastic offers for Viagra: a dark tale of emotional regret, of broken dreams and broken condoms, of clumsy nights and uncomfortable mornings, a meditation on the choices we make and the consequences that we have to live with. Don't just take my word for it, read this subject-line tale for yourself:

I was drunk.
I wanted to relieve "blue balls."
I wanted to celebrate something.
I wanted to increase the number of sex partners I had experienced.
The person was mysterious.
I wanted to increase the number of sex partners I had experienced.
Someone had told me that this person was good in bed.
I felt jealous.
Someone had told me that this person was good in bed.
I thought it would boost my social status.
Someone dared me.
I wanted to change the topic of conversation.
Won't forget last night
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Wow. Just, wow. What an amazing chronicle of passion and deceit. This story couldn't read better if it had been penned by the great Danielle Steel herself. Except, of course, for that part about the Rolex watches--I don't dig surprise endings.