Stuff and Things
1. Few things make me as angry as when my cell phone decides to, you know, not function, but I've discovered that sometimes my phone's ineptitude can be a boon to my reputation. For example, on New Year's, I texted 'happy new year' to a few people at around 1220 or so. But, my phone, being the dipshit that it is, didn't deliver the bulk of these messages until about 415 in the morning. This, in turn, caused several of my friends to ask me what the hell an old man like me was still doing out, raging at 4 in the morning; of course, I had been asleep for several hours at that point, but my phone made me look like a hard-partying superstar. The moral: technology sucks, unless it doesn't.
2. Another way to make people think that you're a badass is by taking a plastic bag holding your carryout food and wrapping it around the food containers inside. I discovered this the other night when I was picking up some Thai food. I wrapped the bag containing my food tight so as to prevent spillage and to keep the heat in, and as I did so, the guy at the restaurant said, excitedly, "You ride a motorcycle?!" I guess he thought that I was wrapping the bag up to put inside the bag attached to my motorcycle or something. I don't have to tell you that he looked pretty disappointed when I told him the truth. Still, a valuable lesson was learned, and now I have a cheap and easy way to convince people that I'm a chopper-riding outlaw. Note: if you yourself are thinking of trying this maneuver out, remember that it probably won't work if the food you're purchasing has sprouts in it.
3. I've come up with a great idea for a movie, which combines the elements of two movies that are rather popular on DVD right now. It's a science fiction coming of age high school comedy drama about two buddies who are experiencing anxiety as they prepare to go off to college whilst also hunting and killing robots in a dystopian future world. I call it SuperBlade. If anyone wants to finance production, let me know.
4. I never got around to doing my traditional, awesome, and traditionally awesome end of year recap. Maybe I'll do that tomorrow. Maybe not. Either way, one thing's for sure: tight jeans make my balls hurt.
